A Return to Awe

This little surprise popped up out of bare dirt following the unprecedented rains we had here, in Southern California. The lettuce seeds hid dormant from last summer's crop… until everything was just right. Rain, torrential rain. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise…" (there's a Beatles lyric for every moment of your life!)

It was a reminder that spring is a time of unexpected surprises. But you have to be willing.

Can you make room in your life for something new?

By its very nature, Spring is alive with possibility.

It’s Mother Nature who reminds us to recognize cycles as regenerative. Tough times don’t last forever, and sometimes we even feel a sense of "foreboding joy" when we're happy. We ask… when will the other shoe drop? When we feel down, we can’t see the possibilities.

It steals our potential to dream.

I felt quite blue a few weeks ago. I couldn’t shake it. I was in the process of navigating grief from the loss of my mom in December, and settling an estate is not an easy task. This went on for weeks. That, and the gloomy days of this crazy weather held me down.

And then the unexpected happened. My daughter had to go out of town for business and my firefighter son-in-law was called to Northern California for emergency Search and Rescue because of the torrential rains and flood damage.

“Mom! I need you to take Garrett for four days,” Julianne said.

Oh my. I haven’t cared for my precious grandson for more than one or two nights on my own! Could I do it?

I didn’t have to know the answer. I just hopped in my car, and we met halfway between her LA home and mine in Murrieta.

“Nana!” Garrett yelled as he got out of the car and snuggled into my arms. I felt a rush of the easiest love I’ve ever known. Just by the nature of him being born two years ago, he was the gift of love I couldn’t have imagined. Other grandparents had warned me, “Wait till you have your own grandchild, then you’ll know.” But it was unimaginable until it happened.

The next four days were pure bliss as I navigated each delightful day with him, and this is what I discovered…

A return to awe

Everything is new to a 2-year-old! From the time they wake up energized to start their day, to the very last second before they close their eyes.

We took walks by the creek, played in the backyard, and baked cookies… even a trip to the grocery store became an adventure. Each night closed with reading 5 books, yes 5, and they were the same 5 books over and over again. He reacted as though each time was a brand-new book, and yet he knew every page by heart. All the enthusiasm was poured into the moment with pure delight.

Somewhere within those four days, it hit me that my joy had returned. I looked forward to waking up in the morning to let the experiences unfold. I found laughter, tears of joy, and awe…

Even the task of cutting a fresh pineapple had him squealing with delight.

Could that be you? Do you even remember what it felt like to squeal with delight? It surprised me when I heard my own voice laughing and squealing with him.

My message is this… Allow yourself to feel “ awe.” Go ahead.., Make the sounds of awe… Encourage yourself to squeal, laugh or sigh when you go into your garden and see what gifts nature has for you. That sound sends good vibrations throughout your body… It’s telling you to wake up and enjoy!

Allow expectation to start your day. It lures you to higher ground… that there’s something more just up the next hill, or at the next corner of your life journey.

Remember, you still have a child's heart inside of you that is ready to begin each new day with the expectation of joy.

"And in the end... the love you take is equal to the love you make...." TY Paul McCartney

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