People thought I was crazy when I fell hopelessly in love with a man in another state. I had a whole life, a career, elderly parents, and children, all living within an easy drive in Southern California.
Living here was part of my identity, it’s what I knew, and yet every time I envisioned a life with this man, the subliminal question whispered… “could I relinquish my present life and create something new?
Isn’t that the arc of every fairy tale? The woman meets the man who will sweep her off her feet, conquer her problems, and lead her to his kingdom… to a better life.
But I already had a better life. I loved my home, my friends, my community, my job. I was living my “best life.”
But I missed being someone’s partner.
I had a great first marriage… at least for most of the 26 years. The downward spiral happened after the sudden loss of our 16-year-old son.
Some marriages grow stronger in...
I’m certain you can look back on in your life and see times that offer you proof and encouragement to believe in your ability to be resilient.
Maybe you’ve weathered a sudden job transfer or loss of work unexpectedly. Maybe you took a chance on a business that didn’t work out, or maybe you lost money in the housing crisis years ago.
But here you are. Not only did you bounce back, but you bounced forward into your new life.
Why is it new? Because it was something you didn’t necessarily expect and you had to make adjustments to restore or transform it.
After this Quarantine, we’ll all be seeing life through a new lens.
The elephant in the room that looms is this… will my work, as I know it, be gone? But let’s prod this question a little further. Is there a possibility that your work life will be completely changed, or different, or better than before?
Is there a chance that this is an...
How to manifest a better life by cutting ties to old beliefs.
“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. And I will choose how the story ends.” — Brené Brown
I was stuck in my story. I’d told it so many times it was on autopilot. I attached the same words, the same emotion, and the same meaning every time I’d tell it to a new friend.
There were chapters of my life I had decided to view one way and one way only. My thoughts were set in stone, and those beliefs rumbled around for years as the whole story… the complete accounting of my life.
Until I challenged it.
It was this quote that blew my story wide open:
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the...
“For the writer who’s spent years running away from actually sitting down to do the work.”
I was a secret writer for decades, depositing my thoughts in a journal with dreams of becoming an author one day. But writing a book? That was different. I struggled to commit. I just kept saying “someday…
My husband had done it. He was a successful screenwriter for television and film. From the moment he decided to become a writer, he committed to becoming a successful writer.
I was in awe of his ability to sit down day after day and bring story ideas and characters to life. It didn’t matter if he was under contract with a studio or not, he wrote for the sheer joy of it.
He was as prolific as it gets, with a career that spanned 3 decades, and there was never a time he didn’t write.
-prolific: marked by abundant inventiveness or productivity- Merriam-Webster Dictionary
There are times when my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” And I wasn’t… not really.
I’m married now, and it’s the second time around. My life and my focus are very different than it was the first time. I’m secure enough with myself where I unapologetically recognize I need to change.
The problem reared its head when numerous times my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” I would have to admit, even though I thought I was, my mind was often far away.
When did I stop listening to him?
It never happened when we first fell in love… my sole focus was on hearing what he had to say. I wanted to drink in every conversation, and I’d remember every word he said.
In thinking about it, I noticed non-listening times would rear up mostly because of stress; my mind wandered trying to find solutions to problems and situations. But also my...
The first time I picked up Brendan Burchard’s, “High-Performance Habits,” I couldn’t finish it. I got one chapter in and bailed.
I wanted to be up for the task, but the truth is, at that point, I was exhausted.
A week ago, I’d run out of creative and emotional fuel. I couldn’t think of a darn thing to write about, let alone work on my website or the next email.
Reading has always been my motivational refuel, but I hadn’t read a book in months. My father died 4 months ago, and grief took away my ability to focus.
Having experienced a lot of loss in my life, I learned long ago the world doesn’t wait for you to finish grieving. In fact, grief has no timetable at all, but your business requires your attention, no matter what.
I stared at the stack of books in my bookcase, and High-Performance Habits was at the bottom of the stack. I felt a nudge to pick it up, but...
Game-Changing Strategies for Bringing Your Words Back to Life
Isn’t it just the hardest thing to write when you can’t find the words?
Writers Block is a form of overwhelm in the writer’s brain. You think it’s a lack of ideas, but I’ve found it can also be the muddle of too many ideas, or too much self-doubt, or simply the inability to have clarity on why you’re writing at all.
If you search the Internet for “writer’s block,” you’ll discover any number of ways to combat the dreaded stall in writing momentum. Many of the ideas come from wildly successful creative people.
Writer’s block is real. It happens even to the best of writers.
My late husband, David Peckinpah, was a writer for television and film. We couldn’t afford Writer’s Block… it was that simple. A block in writing meant we couldn’t pay the bills. For me, writing is not my main paycheck. I wish it was, but I know for sure, writing...
I’m feeling it, and I’m sure you are, too… the trauma of another person’s tragedy. It triggers me as though it were my own. At least that’s how it feels.
Whenever something happens like the recent devastating death of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the other victims of the terrible crash, people wonder why they’re so affected when it’s someone they don’t personally know.
It’s called “collective grieving.” It’s a real and heartfelt emotional reaction to a loss that is not directly connected to you. The most common trigger is that of celebrity deaths. It can also ignite with national emergencies like hurricanes, community tragedies, mass murders, or even that of an average person who met a devastating publicized death.
Why do we feel public tragedies so deeply?
When a public tragedy happens, we experience a...
“It’s not your fault that something bad happened to you, but it is your responsibility to fix it.” -Will Smith
Did you know that everything in your life was first a thought? Every thought has shaped the biggest and the smallest decisions to give you the results you have today.
People struggle with this concept because it doesn’t explain why bad things happen to good people. We’ve all experienced times when our world turns upside down, and we’re at the mercy of circumstances.
It’s part of being a human, and no one is immune. You cannot prevent bad things from happening, but you can take action to restore your life.
“The road to power is in taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is not an admission of guilt but a recognition of the power that you gain when you stop blaming people. Taking responsibility is taking your power back.” -Will Smith
Think of all the things...
How in the world do I take care of my kids when my heart just shattered in a million little pieces?
I asked this question years ago when I lost my 16-year-old son during the Type A Flu epidemic. He was misdiagnosed by the doctor and died within 24 hours from untreated bacterial meningitis.
I can’t go on with the story without telling you my own grief recovery is one of the things I’m most proud of.
Not only did it change me, but it was also the greatest love story I could give to my living children.
It wasn’t easy, and the truth is, grief is not something you ever get over. It’s a way of life you learn to accept.
Now, I can’t imagine who I was before the loss.
Life is different. I’m different.
And Covid-19 has erupted those feelings of another major life change all over again.
How you handle this pandemic will lay the foundation for the adults your children will become.
As I studied for my grief recovery certification...