Understanding the 6 Critical Human Needs

6 fundamental needs everyone has in common, and all behavior is an attempt to meet those needs.

**Notes from the Broadcast**

Why is it important to know them? Because it is the reason we do what we do, and if a need isn’t being met... we can vere off course, thinking we are doing it for one reason... but really for another.

1. Certainty-desire for certainty that we can avoid pain and gain pleasure.

It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships. The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. Some people pursue this by trying to control all aspects of their lives. Control freaks. Others obtain certainty by adopting faith. For me, I like patterns and rituals. 

2. Uncertainty or Variety: The need for the unknown, change, new stimuli. It makes us feel alive and engaged. Brene Brown in her book Rising Strong says uncertainty can be tricky. It’s uncomfortable. It can stop us from owning our stories. Uncertainty can look like problems.

There can be fear in the uncertain. WHEN my son died I talk about this in my book... I had a need for certainty because everything felt so uncertain.

3. Significance:Feeling important, unique, special, or needed. A belief that one’s life has meaning and importance. It can also be negative You can get significance by having more or bigger problems than anybody else. Spending a lot of money can make you feel significant, and so can spending very little. We all know people who constantly brag about their bargains, or who feel special by claiming to be broke.Some individuals will pursue significance by competing with others, or by destroying and tearing down those around them. Others may strive to fulfill this through connection with other human beings. Feeling needed. For me it was fulfilled by my kids... and then when they stopped needing me so much... I had to find new ways...

The great thing about this need is it often sparks the greatness in you. The desire to figure out your calling.... Then it leads to:

4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something. When you don’t have love and conncection you try to fill it with other things, like money, power, or staying in a bad relationship because it feels better than nothing. Remember in grief... you still get to have your connection with your loved one in your heart.

5. Growth: Tony Robbins says if you’re not growing you’re dying. It’s An expansion of capacity, capability or understanding. Tony believes the reason we grow is so we have something of value to give... my writers are growing. Some of them may not have known how to write a book before... but they are growing.

Keep learning books, education, learning from others.

6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to, and supporting others. For me, writing and Periscope is contribution. Writing a book is a contribution! Think about it, what’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news? You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.

All dysfunctional behaviors arise from the inability to meet these needs.

Write down the order those needs are important to you. Mine is number 5, Love.

When our attempts at this fail, we often settle for comfort or meeting our needs on a small scale.

Often this is where we get into trouble. The quick fix, the rebound relationship, the purchase on a credit card.

Ask yourself:

1. Which of these needs do you tend to focus on and value most?

2. What are the ways (good and bad) you meet these needs? Ex: relationship, work, eating, exercise, alcohol,

Understanding these needs, and which ones you are trying to meet in any given moment, can help you create new patterns that lead to lasting fulfillment. The force of your life is the drive for fulfillment; we all have a need to experience a fulfilled life.

Fulfillment is achieved through a pattern of living in which we focus on 2 spiritual needs in particular:

1. The need to continuously grow;

2. the need to contribute beyond ourselves in a meaningful way.

Finally......

Ask yourself....What would it be like if you applied these 6 needs to the passion you have for your work... think about that and consider taking the very next step.