People thought I was crazy when I fell hopelessly in love with a man in another state. I had a whole life, a career, elderly parents, and children, all living within an easy drive in Southern California.
Living here was part of my identity, it’s what I knew, and yet every time I envisioned a life with this man, the subliminal question whispered… “could I relinquish my present life and create something new?
Isn’t that the arc of every fairy tale? The woman meets the man who will sweep her off her feet, conquer her problems, and lead her to his kingdom… to a better life.
But I already had a better life. I loved my home, my friends, my community, my job. I was living my “best life.”
But I missed being someone’s partner.
I had a great first marriage… at least for most of the 26 years. The downward spiral happened after the sudden loss of our 16-year-old son.
Some marriages grow stronger in...
There are times when my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” And I wasn’t… not really.
I’m married now, and it’s the second time around. My life and my focus are very different than it was the first time. I’m secure enough with myself where I unapologetically recognize I need to change.
The problem reared its head when numerous times my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” I would have to admit, even though I thought I was, my mind was often far away.
When did I stop listening to him?
It never happened when we first fell in love… my sole focus was on hearing what he had to say. I wanted to drink in every conversation, and I’d remember every word he said.
In thinking about it, I noticed non-listening times would rear up mostly because of stress; my mind wandered trying to find solutions to problems and situations. But also my...