People thought I was crazy when I fell hopelessly in love with a man in another state. I had a whole life, a career, elderly parents, and children, all living within an easy drive in Southern California.
Living here was part of my identity, it’s what I knew, and yet every time I envisioned a life with this man, the subliminal question whispered… “could I relinquish my present life and create something new?
Isn’t that the arc of every fairy tale? The woman meets the man who will sweep her off her feet, conquer her problems, and lead her to his kingdom… to a better life.
But I already had a better life. I loved my home, my friends, my community, my job. I was living my “best life.”
But I missed being someone’s partner.
I had a great first marriage… at least for most of the 26 years. The downward spiral happened after the sudden loss of our 16-year-old son.
Some marriages grow stronger in...
How to manifest a better life by cutting ties to old beliefs.
“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. And I will choose how the story ends.” — Brené Brown
I was stuck in my story. I’d told it so many times it was on autopilot. I attached the same words, the same emotion, and the same meaning every time I’d tell it to a new friend.
There were chapters of my life I had decided to view one way and one way only. My thoughts were set in stone, and those beliefs rumbled around for years as the whole story… the complete accounting of my life.
Until I challenged it.
It was this quote that blew my story wide open:
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the...
There are times when my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” And I wasn’t… not really.
I’m married now, and it’s the second time around. My life and my focus are very different than it was the first time. I’m secure enough with myself where I unapologetically recognize I need to change.
The problem reared its head when numerous times my husband would ask, “Are you listening to me?” I would have to admit, even though I thought I was, my mind was often far away.
When did I stop listening to him?
It never happened when we first fell in love… my sole focus was on hearing what he had to say. I wanted to drink in every conversation, and I’d remember every word he said.
In thinking about it, I noticed non-listening times would rear up mostly because of stress; my mind wandered trying to find solutions to problems and situations. But also my...
How in the world do I take care of my kids when my heart just shattered in a million little pieces?
I asked this question years ago when I lost my 16-year-old son during the Type A Flu epidemic. He was misdiagnosed by the doctor and died within 24 hours from untreated bacterial meningitis.
I can’t go on with the story without telling you my own grief recovery is one of the things I’m most proud of.
Not only did it change me, but it was also the greatest love story I could give to my living children.
It wasn’t easy, and the truth is, grief is not something you ever get over. It’s a way of life you learn to accept.
Now, I can’t imagine who I was before the loss.
Life is different. I’m different.
And Covid-19 has erupted those feelings of another major life change all over again.
How you handle this pandemic will lay the foundation for the adults your children will become.
As I studied for my grief recovery certification...
Are you seeing this time as a dip… or a ladder to the best that’s yet to come?
“Every now and then, something happens in life that seems to open a door you didn’t expect, and it serves as a threshold to other things.”
Last night I went to bed when I felt tired. Today, I woke up when my body wanted to. No alarm, just the feeling I’d slept exactly as long as I was supposed to.
It’s the first time I can remember that I have no schedule.
On the first few days of the quarantine, I set a rigorous agenda of waking up at 7:00 am, walking for an hour a day, going over my client list of obligations, making calls, then writing in the afternoon.
But about a week into this new work-from-home plan, I relaxed.
I began listening to my inner thermostat. What does my body want? What is my mind telling me to do? When is my optimum time for creativity? When am I at my best talking on the phone to clients?
It’s a strange new way of living…...
My daughter called me right after the coronavirus pandemic and “sheltering in” began. “Mom, I just got back from the grocery store… when did everyone start baking bread?”
I apparently wasn’t the only one who had the great bread baking obsession.
I had just made my third trip to the grocery store looking for flour.
I combed the racks, even risking my life attempting to climb to the top shelf (disregarding the sign that said not to). I knew that’s where they hid the overstock.
It’s been 3 weeks now, and the stores are still out of flour.
I scrolled through Facebook and recognized the problem immediately.
There was not one, nor two… but at least four people who proudly posted photos of their fresh-baked bread… and one who’d even made buns!
Who knew people were closet bread bakers? Was it inspiration from binging Netflix’s Great British Baking Show? Thanks to Paul Hollywood, I learned what...
I left home at 16 to tour with a musical show, (took high school on the road), returned when I was 18 to graduate, then left again at 19, never returning to the nest again.
That’s the way I thought it would be with my own children. Once they graduated and went on to college, I could enjoy their visits and watch them become the people I always dreamed they would be.
I passionately loved being a mother, but having spread my four children so far apart, I was still changing diapers and reading bedtime stories to my baby when my oldest was 16. I added another to the family when my youngest son’s best friend came to live with us. Unexpectedly, I became a single mom for a huge portion of my children’s lives.
In 2010, when I dropped my last child off at Long Beach State, I celebrated. I had done it. I’d delivered all of my kids to the land of adulthood.
I had moments of “empty...