Many people struggle with past trauma, but why do some say it changed the course of their life?

There’s a reason why some people will tell you they became better people after something terrible happens.

Sometimes people dwell too long on “when bad things to good people.” They don’t know there’s a mysterious transformation that happens simply because the human is designed to survive.

There were chapters of my life I’d decided to view one way, and those beliefs rumbled around for years, stealing my joy. I was stuck in believing I’d been shortchanged from the miraculous life I thought everyone else had.

Until I challenged it.

This quote buried on page 41 of Eckhart Tolle's book, A New Earth changed my life and all that has followed since:

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you...

How to manifest a better life by cutting ties to old beliefs.

“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending — to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. And I will choose how the story ends.” — Brené Brown

I was stuck in my story. I’d told it so many times it was on autopilot. I attached the same words, the same emotion, and the same meaning every time I’d tell it to a new friend.

There were chapters of my life I had decided to view one way and one way only. My thoughts were set in stone, and those beliefs rumbled around for years as the whole story… the complete accounting of my life.

Until I challenged it.

It was this quote that blew my story wide open:

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the...

These mindset tips will improve the quality of your life

“It’s not your fault that something bad happened to you, but it is your responsibility to fix it.” -Will Smith

Did you know that everything in your life was first a thought? Every thought has shaped the biggest and the smallest decisions to give you the results you have today.

People struggle with this concept because it doesn’t explain why bad things happen to good people. We’ve all experienced times when our world turns upside down, and we’re at the mercy of circumstances.

It’s part of being a human, and no one is immune. You cannot prevent bad things from happening, but you can take action to restore your life.

“The road to power is in taking responsibility. Taking responsibility is not an admission of guilt but a recognition of the power that you gain when you stop blaming people. Taking responsibility is taking your power back.” -Will Smith

Think of all the things...

Are you seeing this time as a dip… or a ladder to the best that’s yet to come?

“Every now and then, something happens in life that seems to open a door you didn’t expect, and it serves as a threshold to other things.”

Last night I went to bed when I felt tired. Today, I woke up when my body wanted to. No alarm, just the feeling I’d slept exactly as long as I was supposed to.

It’s the first time I can remember that I have no schedule.

On the first few days of the quarantine, I set a rigorous agenda of waking up at 7:00 am, walking for an hour a day, going over my client list of obligations, making calls, then writing in the afternoon.

But about a week into this new work-from-home plan, I relaxed.

I began listening to my inner thermostat. What does my body want? What is my mind telling me to do? When is my optimum time for creativity? When am I at my best talking on the phone to clients?

It’s a strange new way of living…...

When I tell my story, people don’t believe it could happen. But it did, and now we need to protect ourselves. 

When I tell my story, people almost don’t believe it could happen. But it did. And telling it might save one life or many.

Two decades ago, my son, Garrett, died suddenly during the Type A Flu epidemic. The doctor misdiagnosed him as having the flu, and 24 hours later he died in his bed at home, sometime in the early morning hours.

I found him. But the odd thing is, I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up. I ran down the stairs toward his bedroom and screamed before I ever reached his door. I just knew.

I frantically jumped on top of him performing CPR, screaming his name, breathing my breath into his, but with no response. I wrapped my arms around his body and could feel he was still warm, but his lips were cold.

My husband and my three young children stood watching in horror, paralyzed by what was happening.

I kept trying to revive him with...

How to put an end to over apologizing and other ineffective habits.

I did it again. I caught myself apologizing today for something that wasn’t my fault. It’s a bad habit I’ve picked up and it has no boundaries. I’ve done it in my personal and my professional life.

It’s a habit that clouds my judgment. Without realizing it, I often took the blame for issues that were not mine to own, simply because of a choice I made in the way I communicated.

Even simple phrases where I transferred information to my clients would start with “I’m sorry to tell you the report came in and your system failed to certify. We’ll have to address that. I know it will cost you some money. I’m sorry to bring you such bad news. Don’t worry; we’ll figure it out.”

It was the home’s deferred maintenance that caused the report to fail, can you identify how many times I took responsibility for the issue? I even ended with, “...

There are some life experiences you’re not meant to handle alone

There was a time when asking for help felt like the hardest thing in the world. Then I lost my sixteen-year-old son… and it changed everything.

There’s nothing that prepares you for the strength you need to recover and rebuild a life that has shattered into bits and pieces of sorrow. You simply can’t do it alone.

I had three living children who suffered the shock, too, and yet I couldn’t give up on their young lives to bury myself into my deep, debilitating fog of grief. They deserved a happy childhood in spite of the devastating loss of their brother.

But how do you do that when, as a mother, all you can think about is the child who’s gone? The magnitude of that kind of loss and trying to blend your new everyday life is overwhelming.

But I was rescued.

Don’t think about it… just show up
From day one, I was stunned to see how many people appeared at my front door to...

You know that person… they walk into a room confident, daring, having it all together. You’re not the only one who notices. You see others turning their heads, too. It’s not necessarily how they’re dressed, although that helps. It’s also the way they carry themselves, shoulders back and upright, long strides, and not a trace of uneasiness in their eyes.

They always seem to know exactly where they’re headed, and they do it with such style that it makes you a little green with envy, but also intrigued. You want to hear their message. Everyone in the room does.

Why? Because they are relevant.

Either through something they’ve achieved, a special talent or skill, or remarkable story, the spotlight shines on them as though no one else exists.

Does everyone have that potential?

The answer is yes… if you cultivate it.

Any successful athlete will tell you they spend as much time on mental preparation as they do on physical practice. Mental...

I remember Oprah saying she would never have been able to dream big enough to imagine her life today… that her dreams were based on what she knew at the time. She said she couldn’t have predicted or imagined all that she has become.

And that’s the gift of the Second Act of life. It offers us an opportunity to look back at our lives and assess what we’ve already achieved, in particular, things we thought we could never have accomplished or circumstances we miraculously survived.

Why look back? Because in the second act, hindsight is where wisdom is born.
Like most people, I’ve had a tumultuous life. Here’s a list of things I thought I couldn’t do:

• Survive unimaginable loss
• Start a new career… and succeed
• Heal my heart after divorce
• Raise my kids on my own
• Find love again
• Write books and articles about all the things I thought I couldn’t do

Oprah was right.
The magnitude of your life can’t be predicted. Like Oprah, if I had...

The joy of creating something people love (and my Pesto recipe included)

The summer months finally arrived, and this week I’m taking a detour from my usual posts that I typically tag as #self #motivational #creativity. I want to share another side of me; the one that passionately loves food.

There’s one recipe in my collection that gets more requests than any other, and it’s the one food my children dig into the moment they come home to visit (because there’s always a jar in the refrigerator).

It’s not brownies, or cookies, or pies… It’s pesto.

Here’s proof… Within 5 minutes of my daughter’s arrival after a two-hour drive from Los Angeles, she’s making a sandwich with pesto, tomatoes, and fresh basil. She didn’t ask if there was a jar in the fridge, she just knew.

The authentic recipe for pesto was created in the 16th century, and the word “pesto” comes from “pestare,” meaning to pound...